Looking forward for my present.

I just answered a poll on a thread I visited this morning. The question was: "Can someone really find love in the internet?"

My answer was a big fat NO. I just dont believe its possible these days. There's too many pretenders, users, social climbers mixed with the genuine ones. Yes some people could have found it there, but finding love in a webpage? I know its a case-to-case basis. It could work for other people. But never for me. Being a member of a gay dating website for like 2-3 years now. It made no difference at all in boosting my boring mundane pathetic lovelife. Yes i did met, seen, chat, dated, slept with a few people Ive met on the web (hey! di po sila ganun kadami ha.) but love and compatibility was difficult to find. What we are discussing here is Love not hookups, getting laid and seb's. I was not losing hope. I just dont believe that I could find love in my computer screen. I was still moving on from that one-great-crash with my so called one-great-love. Browsing over thru these people's profile looking at good looking photos of men half naked, cute and handsome is just a recreational past time to kill boredom. I learned not to take everything seriously, but the person im looking isnt just there. he/she could be somewhere else. Maybe a neighbor, an officemate that i havent met yet. a future seatmate on a bus ride. or someone that a friend will introduce. but then, something odd just happened today. It was after lunch that I got a response from this person whom I have exchanged messages with that previous night. Those were not a lot, mostly hi's and hello's and email addresses, there were no dirty talks. just a couple of replies and we decided to take time to chat at ym. But there's something in our conversation that made me look forward for tomorrow. It isnt love at first chat. nah. something like a genuine friendship establish with a stranger. someone whom i have just talked within an hour and connected with..

this is how our conversation goes on ym...

* * * *

him: hi there..
him: g'afternoon there..
him: what's up with you bro?
him: u there?

buzz!!!

me: sorry. just finished lunch
me: ")
him: ano ulam mo?
me: fried bangus
him: sarap..
me: ska gulay
him: pahingi..
me: hehehe
me: san k?
him: ")
him: what do u men saan ako?
him: location?
me: yup po
me: caribbean
me: ahhh. ohh. wow!
me: di nga!
him: we have the same time it's just that ours is 12 hour backward
him: kulit...
him: oo naman…
him: b*** kita dyan eh..
me: uu nga.
me: heheh
him: “ )
me: share pics nman. gusto mkita carribean.
me: “ )
him: hindi pa ako nakakapag explore..
him: lagi dami pasyente..
me: business or pleasure.
me: ah. trabaho. nurse k?
him: don't worry, pag meron, padala ako sa iyo..
him: nope..
him: dosimetrist..
him: tnx. huh?
me: wow. bagong word. explain.
him: demanding..
him: pitikin ko kaya i**** mo?
me: di q po alam qng anu ung dosimetrist e
me: research q nlang..
me: sadista k b? heheh lol
him: i do treatment plans and dosage computatons for cancer patients undergoing radiation treatment..

me: ... (starstruck)
him: claro na po ba?
me: yup yup yup
me: galing mo nman.
him: what do u mean super astig?
me: super cool ng ginagawa mo. not everyone can do that.
him: when i left the phils, i think there were just the two us there..
him: ngayon, nag isa na lang sya..
him: hehehe..
me: tsk. sayang..
him: the other guy was trained in the US whilst me, in Europe..
me: kawawa nman xa. imagine pano n ung mga pinoy cancer patients
me: “ )
him: well, there are medical physicists who can do that also..
me: uu nga. pero iba k kz focus k sa field n un eh
me: un ung specialty mu e
him: ganun talaga ang buhay kapatid..
me: got that one.
him: uy, miss ko na buhay dyan sa atin alammo ba?
him: ano nga pala bago dyan?
me: i know. iba freedom pg sa sariling bansa k ngla2kad khit my holdaper feel at home p din.
him: korak..
him: dito anlalaki ng mga tao..
me: ganu k n b wla sa pinas?
him: takut achu..
me: sinabi mo p. my manager kmeng american sa office 4 time ung lake ng pwet ahiih
him: mas malalaki dito..
me: hehehe. kelan k umalis ng pinas?
him: kasi mga tao dito is dominated by east indians, latin americans and blacks..
him: 4 months ago..
me: di p nman pla ganun ktagal. nice nman sila ah. uhmm. ngrollback price ng gas date nsa 50+ ngaun 30 something nlang.. uwi k bilis!

him: kaya nga mas grabe homesick ko eh kasi bago pa lang..
me: tpos mukhang my blak p atang mg extend ng term si gloria s 2010.. ung panget n un..
me: you'l get use to it...
me: US territory p b carribean?
him: where i am located was an english/dutch territory
him: though ome of the caribbean islands were of american's
me: di n xa part ng US states?
him: though some..
him: nope..
me: ah. sarap jan. not everyone can have a chance to work thre. just appreciate what you have right now. anyway mka2balik k p din ng pinas.

him: oo nga e..
him: pero lungkot bro..
him: imiss home so much..
me: naku, wag ganun.. mgaabroad din kz aq next year.. bka mtakot din aq..
him: saan ka naman pupunta?
him: hwag ka na lang mag abroad..
him: iba pa rin pinas.
me: ill keep you company dont worry. ill keep you updated. basta if nahhome sick k. message k lng. plague nman aq nkonline 24hrs

him: parang indi ka naman lagi naka online eh.
him: “ )
me: mabagal kz umasenso d2. minsan kelangan nating mgsacrifice, qng aq lang auco tlga. and2 family, friends q pero kelangan e

me: hehehe. di kz aq prati ngyym. ska my inuman kme kgabe ng bestfriend q. hehehe
him: ikaw...
him: pero if i could only bring back time, i would rather stay there na lang..
me: kwento mo all about carribean. ang ganda kya jan. pangarap qng mkrating jan dati eh
him: punta ka na lang dito sa akin..
him: ")
him: hehehe..
me: hahaha. next time. ilang years k po b jan?
me: “ )
him: di ko alam eh.
him: depende sa akin din..
him: bagal mo naman mag reply..
him: busy?
me: wow. ang galing nman. after a year you can go back nman d2 ah. qng gusto mo tlga. pero i have a feeling your that going stay thre longer. mga 1st stage lng un mhomesick k. its normal. you'l be use to it after 6 months

him: sana nga bro.
me: sorry po. actually hnihintay kya kita
him: hehehe..
me: ano b feeling ng anjan?
him: you have the feeling..hmmm..madam auring, ikaw ba yan?
him: hehehe..
him: malungkot..
me: hehehe. come on. wla k sa pinas. your in a foreign country. everything around you is new to explore

him: back home, nasanay ako na kulang na lang may pupunas sa pwet ko..
me: hahaha
him: dito, lahat kailangang gawin ..
me: sabay spank b?
me: kelangan mo ng maid jan
him: pwede rin..
me: kso mhal
him: kaso mahirap magtiwala kung i kalahi eh..
me: ska naka2takot
me: yup
me: ndi sa pngddiscriminate but i wouldnt trust someone agad
me: gain friends.
him: yeah right..
me: mukha k nmang msaya ksama. mdali kng mkkhanap ng tropa jan
him: kaso ayoko pa ring friends ang mga local dito..
me: madame cgurong durugista jan. be careful ha.
me: but its still a nice place. give it a chance..
me: “ )
me: ndi k b matu2log? december 01 n pla jan ah
him: madami...kasi parang rendezvous from the latin americas and caribbean..
him: another 5mins..
him: na excite ako eh..may kausap ako..
me: kngina p kaya nghi2ntay. xenxa n ha.
me: basta pg kelangan mo kchat. just buzz.
me: hehehe.
him: i mean, i will stay another 5 mins ksi na excite ako na may makausap..
me: n gets q po un kngina. kw nman
me: gawin mo ng 10 pls.
him: okie..
me: ang lakas q agad sau.
him: gusto ko rin..
him: hehehe..
him: yoko kasi makulit eh..
me: o cge. unfair nman kz ngshare k n about urself aq nman
him: “ )
me: i work for a US telephone company. caller center agent (sigh)
him: uy..dami daw raket sa call center huh?
him: tama ba yun?
mes: anong nmang klase ng raket?
him: marami daw lalake?
him: hahahaha..
him: “ )
me: hahaha.
me: madameng cute. but i wouldnt waste my time.
him: mag call center agent n lang kaya ako?
him: hehehe
me: nope. anjan k n e. my reason si God qng bkit k nya dinala jan.
him: you know what? that is wht i am trying to figure out until now kung ano nga yung purpose ng pagpunta ko dio..

him: kasi, back home i didn't even consider of leaving the phils..and if ever, i wol like in europe..pero sa dami ng lugar sa mundo, dito ako napadpad..

me: kada2ting mo plang jan. xiempre di mo agad mla2man yan. its part of the thrill you need to stay. fight homesickness, adapt malay mo.. anjan pla soul mate mo.

me: see!! ndi xa chamba. my purpose k tlga jan. maybe being there will make you a whole lot better person. you'l see things n ndi mo nkita o nrealize sa pinas. be strong. npkswerte mo.

me: “ )
me: pwede n b aqng motivational speaker?
me: let me know po qng matu2log k n ha. ill understand nman e.
him: konting practice p...
him: hehehe..
him: pero, thanks talaga huh..
me: ganun. taas ng standard n2 ah.
him: kahit papano masaya ako at may makakakwentuhan na ako..
me: bkit ntgalan kng mgreply?
him: hehehe..
him: nakahiga kasi ako nagta type eh..
me: kwento k p.
him: ano pa?
me: sa ano itsura ng carib? madame bng hotel ska resort?
him: mga malalaking nota ng mga tao dito? yung mga pasyente ko pag nakikita ko?
him: shucks...nakaka praning..
him: oo naman..madami..
me: not interested jan. mas masarap p din pinoy. goodluck nman qng anong saket meron cla.
me: ano po b qualifications ng malaki ang nota? hmmm. ilang inches?
him: juice m kapatid...may naging pasyente pa ako halos umabot na sa tuhod..
him: kalukah..
me: come on.!
me: di po aq bata.
him: ?
me: bka nman ndi tao un
me: nang uuto k eh
me: ZZzzzzz
him: bro, i am serious..
him: i am telling you the truth..
him: really..
me: alryt
him: nun ngang makita ko eh parang gusto kong masuka..
me: eiiww
me: buti nlang bangus ulam q kngina ndi hotdog
me: eheh
him: hahaha..
him: pero totoo talaga..
me: have you already slept with somebody there?
him: i thought sa porno movie lng yun, pero it exist pala..
him: naah..
him: that's a big big no..
him: dalagang filipina po ako..
me: really? di nga.
me: hehehe
me: pano qng my mgapproach sau
me: tapos cute and type mo din. tingna q lng qng mkpgsabi k p ng big big no.
me: bka big big yeah!
him: actually marami na din..pinaka masugid is yug isang chinese-venezuelan..
him: pero ayaw pa rin..
me: whats holding you back?
me: having someone to love there will lessen the loneliness.
him: naah..
him: i have my son there..
him: behave ako dito..
me: ah..
me: r u married?
him: yup..and i have 6 year old son..
me: kchat mo b wife mo? if its ok to ask..
him: nope..
him: my sis in australia..
me: thanks for letting me in.
him: nope...thank you..
him: mwah..
him: “ )
me: oh come on. (while kinikilig. could this be real?)
him: meaning?
me: type kita, but ill rather keep you as a friend. i reallly like you as a person.
him: , i want to send you my pic para naman u'll have an idea how i look like..
me: thanks
him: pero promise me, jkeep it for urself kasi nga may sabit ako, ok?
him: nahiya naman kasi ako mukha ka namang mabait eh..
me: yes. ofcourse. thanks for the trust. di ko n din sana hi2ngin kz i understand. but seeing your face would be a different thing]

him: hayan o, may pic ka pa nga ako wala..
him: ayah...bagong gising nga lang..
me: uhmm
me: question
him: hope u don't mind.
me: yes
him: go ahead..
him: what's ur question?
me: why did you trust me with your pics? nkkflatter kz. knowing n complicated ung status mo.
him: kasi u didn't hesitate to put ur profie pic..
him: na guilty naman ako..
him: if i won't give you the equal trust..
me: hahaha. uu nga nu, pero lhat nman ng kchat q, mkita yan eh.
me: thank you. ill take care of you.
him: thanks a lot..

You have received 1 photo from ****.

me: hehehe. ang cute mo..

(he was on a bed in the photo smiling softly. he was handsome and has this adorable looking eyes. I was caught offguard. Damn his really cute. he's one of those yummy-young-daddy-type.)

him: hahaha..
me: … “ )
him: nawindang ako sa iyo..
me: no really. I don’t know what to say.
me: anyway. my ita2nong k b kngina?
him: thanks...
him: wala naman..
him: why?
me: uhmm. kla q my ta2nong k kngina e.. (come on! ask me if im single!)
me: nevermind nlang po.
me: i can go for ours of chating tanghaling tapat po d2, but if you would like to go to sleep i wouldnt mind really. you need to take a rest.

me: for hours po un ha
him: pasensya na sa pic..bagong gising..
him: lok closely..baka tulo laway pa..
me no its cute. ang gwapo mo kya. at ndi aq ako nambobola ha
him: look...
me: hehehe
me: as checked. negative po.
me: hehehe
him: baka naman maniwala ako...
me: hehehe. but you look sad.
him: oo nga eh..
me: your smiling but your eyes look sad.
me: on a second look parang ngang kaga2ling mo lng sa iyak e.
him: kasi if i can remeber, iyak ata ako nun hanggang makatuog ako..
me: now I understand. mahirap pla tlga..
him: i realized, patibayan ng loob ang pag a abroad..
me: kla q nung una naalala mo lng family and friends mo kya k nhhomesick tonight. yun pla everynight..

me: ano b mga usual ng ginawa mo jan?
him: o naman..
him: lalo na kung pag uwi mo tapos ala ka madadatnan sa bahay..
me: you can do it.
me: mahirap tlgang magisa. siguro qng aq ngaun ang nanjan. umiiyak n q sa harap ng webcam kausap mama at papa q

him: sinabi mo pa..
me: sbay sabing: mama di n tlga aq uulit. promise. auco n!
me: hehehe
me: ngite k nman. korni joke q e
him: ang ginagawa ko na nga lang, pinapa open ko yung cam sa bahay tapos pinapanood ko

yung anak ko habang nagpi prepare sa school and other stuff..

me: hehehe..
me: wow!!
me: ang sarap nun..
me: ok nman pla e. mkksama mo din cla.
him: kahit papano, nababawasan a rin lungkot ko dito..
him: at pag sasabihin ko sa anak ko: baby, daddy wants to kiss your armpits..tataas naman nya mga kamay nya sabay lapit sa cam..
me: lol. so cute..

him: nakakatuwa na rin kahit papano..
me: (he's name). try mong wag mxadong mlungkot. do things n makkpagpaligaya sau. feeling sad all the time wont help.
me: go out enjoy the place
him: oo nga eh..
him: hey , nice meeting you pare..
me: mas thankful aq nmeet kta.
him: need to sleep now. it's already a liitle past 2 am here..
me: yup.
ma: sleep tight po. goodnight. merry christmas.
him: buti nga, nag mesage ka sa guys4men eh..
him: how'd u find out nga pala account ko?
me: hehehe
me: ndaanan q lng po.
him: sa dinadami dami nun..
me: tpos icip q, mukhang cute to ah. message q nga.
him: hehehe..
him: salamat pare..
me: goodnight n.
me: tomorrow ulit
him: goodnight..
me: : )
him: thanks really..
me: me din. im glad i met you.
him: “ )
him: bye....mwah!
me: di aq mgllogout. you need log out n.
me: d2 lng aq.
me: “ )

* * * *

"I may never find love in any website. But I can always earn a good friend. Someone who could be there with us, tuck us to bed whenever were lonely."

thank you.