Sunday, July 12, 2009

Scared?



This is what's been going on inside my head for the last couple of days. After loosing my job, I honestly dont know where to pick myself up and start over. What if I failed again? Its painful. Specially when youve committed a lot in a single year. There are nights that Id woke up with thoughts asking myself where I went wrong. All these guilt, incompetence, hatred and self blaming wouldnt go away nor let me sleep. My mistake are haunting me and I want to punish myself, I wanna go away. Give up and end it as if I never existed at all. I know Ive caused pain for my parents I couldnt look them at the eye. I could tell theyre disappointed. Im a good for nothing person. worthless. Im a failure.


But wait..


oh yes i did fail.. but, does everything happens for a reason? We are all meant for something. Have I forgotten my happy thoughts? I understand how bad it could feel sometimes when everything is at its worst but that shouldnt stop me for starting a new life. Why not? When you lose everything all there is left is to move on. Accept it. Suck it up and go on. Life is great. Living is good! Ill live my life, make mistake and learn from it. I can get thru with all these, Ill prove it. So what. Im still young I have all the time in the world and Im gonna live my life no matter what!!

Cheers for a new start!!


suckass!!!