Valentines Nightout

This photo was taken during Valentives day. Being still single and desperate, me and my highschool barkada decided to take it out in a bar somewhere in Marikina Riverpark. We drank all night and my bestfriend was there too. There was a live band where he was able to sing my favorite songs. He really is my bestfriend. Thou I have not told any song for him to sing, he knows exactly what song id like to hear..

...going back to the present. Exactly 7 days after the dreaded Valentines day, and according from a friend; Single's Awareness MOnth. Im at home. Facing my computer at midnight. In which I was suppose to be out. With the person that I love. Drinking. I could have been kissing him already by now. But all those plans, day dreaming went all to drain when he cancelled out our meeting. I was in a state of denial since yesterday because of this. It sucks. I could feel my insides sucking its way out of me. Thou I wanted to presssed him for reasons. why?? I couldnt. Im not in the position to demand for his time. So i just nodded, smiled and ask when will be the next time.. He just said "I dont know." which kinda triggers the fact that my lovelife are again. dead. I was so angry at myself that I went to a nearby mall after my work and decided to get myself pierced on my right ear. Just to remind myself how stupid and dumb I could be. I would never forgive myself if i got rejected. but wait on a second.. so what the heck!? I have never liked him anyway the first time i saw him. So it couldnt be love. not even love at first sight. Reject me then. for all i care!! this is just a post valentines depression syndrome. it'l fade by march.. trust me.: P

February Journal.

HELLO EVERYONE!! what date is it again? oh, its feb 05. and its payday. I already check my atm, and its loaded with freshly printed money for me to spent. Im planning on oppening my own bank acct. Ive been working within the last 1 1/2 years, day and night and still i have not saved a single cent in the past. All there is spent, spent, depts. The economy crisis in US has finally found me. Our company has made an announcement last week, on US national television that they will be laying off 8000 employees in order to stay in business. THis was a total shocker. They have already removed several departments that are no longer needed and Ive seen my fellow agents being forced/presured to resign or transfered to a different account. One of my secret crush at my work has suffered the same faith. Ive saw him writing a resignation paper on his last day at work. Which really made me sad. I will never see him again on the floor anymore. Anyway I decided to moved on by jumping to my next crush. Back to the economy topic. The company I work for has a huge name in US, its one of the largest Wireless service provider in that country, so announcing to the public that they will need to lose 8000 people is way too scary. But what can we do? *my game plan is to do my best at work to keep up with my stats. We are evaluated each month. and I did good last January. but it doesnt mean that im already safe.: P here's comes fresh february, I just hope that wont be distracted by my love life. which is suprisingly not zero, its above average. Im getting laid everyweek.lols. no further info needs to be given. somebody could have read this post. So Valentines is just a week or more ahead. No pressure so far. Im not too lonely to go looking for a partner. I dont think I need it. I might even need some time to be alone for a while. I plan of spending my valentines with my high school classmate, in a bar drinking, and just get drunk. If only he liked me. I will not be this miserable, struggling to move on. But what-the-heck. that's life. There will always be those things that are not meant for us.